My kids are sleep trained - Using Gina Ford's method.

Over these few years, I have questions from friends and mothers on the following questions:

How are my kids able to to sleep early?
How are my kids able to sleep by themselves?
How come they are energized and happy?

My well rested happy kids.

I shared with them the importance of a proper routine and effectiveness of sleep training.

Every kid is different.  I have friends who has children whom are able to sleep soundly on their own since when they are babies without any form of training. My kids were the opposite of what you called sleeping angels.

My first baby was not able to sleep unless she had a pacifier in her mouth and needed to be carried till she fell asleep. The challenge was how to “lock” the pacifier in her mouth so that she wouldn’t cry in the middle of the night looking for her pacifier. We even tied a pacifier to her bib but she was not able to find it anywhere.  Imagine waking up in the middle of the night several times to put on the pacifier. This continued for 6 months and we literally had enough. Oh yes, you can say we should be more patient and wait till baby learn how to sleep on their own. But day after day, this sleeping issue literally drained off my energy. I was like a zombie going to work and coming back home and prayed that she would be able to sleep on her own soon.

Finally, I decided to find solutions. I came across Gina Ford’s sleeping training books and read up to understand how it works. Before conducting any form of sleep training, we need to create and follow a routine for our baby. This is extremely crucial because babies might have some form of crying during sleep training and with proper routine, we can be sure that our baby is not crying because of hunger. Please read up here on how to create a suitable routine and the steps for sleep training.

You can also buy the book from Amazon. Click here: The Complete Sleep Guide For Contented Babies & Toddlers

What about our second baby? Oh mine! He was worse when it comes to sleeping. I’m not too sure whether is it because he is a boy. He is not using any means to sleep soundly. We tried pacifier, bouncer, and even the traditional “yao lan” - swinging basket or cloth. It just doesn’t work. With the “yao lan”, he slept like 30 mins the most. I was really worried that the lack of sleep might impact his development. So I decided to sleep train him at 4 months ago but I was worried whether it is safe to sleep train at such a young age. So we seek advice from SG sleep nanny, Zoe Chu. She advised that it is ok and she gave the same advice about routine and also be consistent on where he sleep. I decided that the cot is the one, no more bouncer, no more "yao lan".

Sleeping on his own since 4 months old. Sleeping pose like mama. :P

To our great surprise, after a routine was set, my boy took only 3 days to sleep on his own with crying mostly on the first day. Yes, on his own. :) His sister took around 5 days. I was so proud of myself. So is it possible to sleep train a baby at 4 months old. The answer is definitely yes! However, do bear in mind that you have to be determined to follow through the sleep training and don’t jump into holding up the baby just because she is crying.

Follow the plan, and be a little hard-hearted and you will see the benefits. If not, the training will take even longer. My girl took 5 days because we could not bear hear her cries (especially my hubby) and we held her up straight away. Thus our first day failed. On the second day, I asked my hubby to have a cup of coffee, in fact OUT of the house when I was sleep training her. No one was at home except the baby and I. The second day she cried even longer because she knew we would picked her up. Some of you might be wondering “WAH! Just let her cry forever? Don’t go in at all? Wah!”. No, this sleep training method allows parents to go into the room after a certain time and gave a quick verbal assurance. Believe me it is definitely tough for the first two days but you will see the improvements and the light to the tunnel. Here are the 8 biggest sleep mistakes new parents make and how to avoid.

My kids are now 4 and 6 and they are still following a routine and are still sleeping at 7.30 p.m and latest at 8 p.m. Some may wondering whether are they able to sleep anywhere or only at their cots?

Kids slept in the car. They can sleep anywhere now.

My little boy had a long nap in the plane. Smart use of my shawl to cover the seat.

Well, though the sleep training emphasizes on consistency on the time and sleeping location, but when children are able to sleep on their own, things get flexible. We moved houses twice (3 different locations) and now in Mumbai. Our kids have no problem adapting to new sleeping environment. Thus, learning how to sleep on their own is so so important. It is a important life skill for our little ones. With enough sleep, they are energized and happy, and able to absorb and discover new learning every day. Even the teachers commented that they are pretty flexible in adapting to new school environments.

Going to sleep now in my bedroom with my Elly Elephant.

Cheers,
Deariebear mommie

Sleep Training Baby Claire using CIO by Gina Ford

This blog post may help new parents who wish to try out Cry It Out (CIO) method for baby sleep training.

Disclaimer:  I am not an expert in sleep training and everything written here is based on my own experience. Every baby is different and thus some may take longer or shorter time to succeed in this training.

Before I go into the details (This is going to be a long post). Ask yourself why are you using this method? Is your baby waking up several times at night, wanting you to soothe her to sleep? Is your baby waking up several times at night wanting you to help her to put back on her pacifier? Do you need to hold and rock your baby for some time before she sleep? If above sound familiar, the CIO method may be a way to address them. However different parents have their own way of getting their baby to sleep. Some believe that it is natural for babies to be rocked to sleep. :)

Sadly, both of us lacked of the energy to do the above after a tired day at work. Neither would my in-law too. I was also afraid that they will be worn out after a long period of time. Thus, after deep considerations, we decided to try out this method.

Before you try this out, you have to ensure that your baby is not crying due to hunger, need diaper change, or is sick. Most importantly, you cannot be faint-hearted.

Being new parents, we were excited to see our very first baby. At the hospital, she was so so tiny and we held her for a pretty long time, sometimes more than an hr before she dozed off. She slept very soundly and peacefully.

When we returned home, Baby Claire had problem getting to sleep at night, and so I had breastfed and held her to sleep. This was really dangerous because there was an incident when I nearly dozed off and dropped her from my arm..oh gosh! When she was a month plus old, due to her insistent crying and refusal to sleep alone, we even let her slept side by side with us even though we had a cot. We placed her on our bed, and I sang and patted her till she slept. Her sleep time was around 11.30p.m or 12.30a.m...Justin Papa and I were really truly exhausted. Imagine what if we were to turn and flatten her.

To be honest, I didn't knew that sleep training and building routines were so important. I never had these ideas in my head that I could have read up on these and be more prepared before Baby Claire was born. I was much more into pre-natal stuff instead.

Thus, when Baby Claire was about 3 months plus, I began to google online about challenges of why babies cannot sleep earlier or on their own at night. There were tons of information but the most important finding was about building a good routine for the baby. Many experts and mummies online mentioned that babies love routines and they are good at following them. Please view my earlier blog post on setting routines for your baby.

Please note that your baby should be already in a comfortable routine before you start sleep training. This is to ensure that he or she is not crying because of hunger. Also, your baby should be well and healthy when you try out this method. I tried out sleep training when Baby Claire was 5 to 6 months old and coincided with my 2 weeks leave. The good thing was that she was already in a routine which I started when she was 3 to 4 months old. Thus, I knew that she was definitely not hungry if she was crying.

Step 1: Assist your baby to sleep if she is sleeping at the wrong timing (If you have yet to set her into a routine.

You must first determine a set timing for your baby to fall asleep and stick to it. Next you must use all means to assist the baby. 

How to assist her? For me, it will be the current way that you are helping her to sleep. If you have been rocking her, cuddling her, giving her a pacifier, just continue the same way to assist her to sleep.

Step 2: Using the "Crying It Out" (CIO) method
 
This sounds scary right? Initially when I read about this "Crying It Out" (CIO) or also known as the Crying Down method, I was like "Oh mine...you mean let her cry and cry and cry till she sleep or vomit?"

After reading Gina Ford, "The Complete Sleep Guide", I realized that is not totally the case.  

You can go reassure your baby after she cries for 5 mins, then extend to 10 mins, and so on. However, reassurance has to be kept to the minimum (less than 5 mins) by patting on her chest, and say "shhh..". And one thing to note, do not talk to your baby too much or even hold her up. Keep things as quiet and simple as possible.

Detail step to the CIO method:

Day 1

1. After you have completed your bedtime routine (bath, milk feed, settling e.g singing lullaby, bedtime stories, etc), settle your baby in her cot when she shows signs of sleepiness and before she fall asleep. Kiss her goodnight and leave the room.
2. If she is still crying after 5 to 10 minutes, you can go into her room and reassure her by stroking her or say "ssh ssh" but she MUST NOT BE PICKED UP. Keep this reassurance to around 2 minutes and exit the room. Repeat this step till it is half an hour later, and the time between visit should then be increased by another 5-10 minutes, i.e. around 15 to 20 minutes before the reassurance.
3. Continue till your baby falls asleep. Baby Claire took around 45 minutes before she fell asleep. I guess she took longer than usual because previously we picked her up after letting her cry for 10 minutes. 
4. For Baby Claire, she did woke up in the middle of the night and we follow step 2 and 3 again. She took around 30 to 40 minutes before she did soothe herself to sleep.

Day 2

1. It is necessary for you to continue this training for her day-time naps as well. Wait at least 20 minutes before you check on your baby. Continue to keep the reassurance to a maximum of 2 minutes.
2. When your baby does not sleep and it is near her time to get up from bed, you can perhaps extend another 15 to 30 minutes of sleep time to her routine. Baby Claire started to get into the pattern and took a shorter 30 minutes of crying before she soothed herself to sleep.
3. When it comes to evening time, continue what you have done at Day1 where you complete your bedtime routine and settling. However, this time round, you can reassurance her by saying "ssh ssh" but do not stroke or touch her. 
4. If she is still crying after the first hour, the time between visit should be increased to 35-40 minutes. 
5. If she wakes up in the night, you should wait 45 minutes before checking on her. Do not speak or stroke her. Reduce the reassurance time to one minute. Baby Claire showed great improvements and only cried for 5-10 minutes before she soothe herself to sleep. YEAH!!! By the way, we were also trying to get her off her pacifier.

Day 3

1. According to the expert, Gina Ford, she mentioned that most babies will be able to soothe themselves to sleep after 20 minutes. Pretty true for us. Baby Claire took around 10-20 minutes of crying before going to sleep. I didn't even once went into the room to reassurance her. Woo Hoo! 
2. If your baby did not manage to soothe herself to sleep, or her training timing worsen. Start by timing your visits to 15 to 20 minutes of crying, and increase the interval till it is every 45 minutes. 

 This is a video of her when she was at her 3rd day of sleep training. :)

Personally, I feel that she is happier now because she is able to soothe herself to sleep. Ever since the training, she weaned off her pacifier too. :) However, there are certain days or nights where Baby Claire took longer time to sleep due to a few reasons like teething, separation anxiety, or maybe we let her sleep too much during her last evening nap, etc. So far, things still fall back into place.

It is also important that your caregivers practice the same routines and adopt the same methods to settle and allow your baby to learn how to soothe herself to sleep.

Hope the above sharing is helpful. A disclaimer again, I am not an expert in sleep training but wrote this article due to many similar concerns expressed by my friends and colleagues. However, if you have any questions, you can feel free to put in your comments or post a question at http://www.facebook.com/deariebearmommie 

You can also buy the book from Amazon.  Click here: The Complete Sleep Guide For Contented Babies & Toddlers

Cheers,
Deariebear Mommie

Setting a routine for your baby is useful

Before Baby Claire was born, I was immersed on pre-natal stuff like what I should eat, listen, and what type of exercises would be useful for my delivery. I even took 10 lessons of pre-natal Pilates which I personally found it useful. However, I did not read anything about what would happen when baby is born.

Thus, when Baby Claire was not able to sleep at night, or only be able to sleep until it was 11.30p.m or 12.30a.m, we were concerned about why she slept so late at night. After searching on the web, most mommies and expert mentioned about setting a good and suitable routine is essential.

When I first started out, which was when Baby Claire was around 3-4 months, I tried using the Noob Mommy's schedule because it seems pretty simple to follow.

When trying out the above routine, I noticed that Baby Claire took a small nap at 7p.m or 7.30p.m at her bouncer after I bathed her (while I took my bathe). However, she woke up around half an hour or so. Back then, I was thinking was 7p.m her body's clock saying "I need to go to sleep". Thus, I also began to read up on how to catch your baby's sleepy cues e.g. rubbing her eyes, yawning, fussiness, etc.

While I was still trying out the above routine, I came across Gina Ford's The New Contented Little Baby Book, and noticed that her routines seem much more feasible for my baby and decided to try it out. Example of such routine would be the one below.

Now Baby Claire is 9 months and we pushed her sleeping time to 7.20 or 7.30p.m (Schedules will change according to the age of your baby). We bathed her at 7p.m and after which, we feed her milk and read her a short story before we put her down on her cot. She managed to soothe herself to sleep within 5 to 10 minutes with no crying and she managed to sleep til 6.15a.m or 7a.m.

This is now her current schedule which I deviate slightly from Gina Ford's schedule to fit into Claire's natural rhythm of sleep.

• 7a.m - Wake up and change of diaper and drink her milk
• 8a.m - Eat her cereal with fruits
• 9a.m - Bathe
• 9.15/9.30 a.m - Nap
• 10a.m - Wake up and play at her play mat
• 11.30a.m - Lunch
• 12.30p.m - Change diaper and nap
• 1.30p.m/2p.m - Wake up
• 2.30p.m - Drink milk
• 3p.m - Sometimes we will offer her a snack like banana, biscuits, etc
• 5p.m - Dinner
• 7p.m - Bathe, milk and a quick bedtime story and put on her cot to sleep
• 7.20p.m/7.30p.m - Dozed off. (When she was younger, she dozed off at 7p.m and her bath time was around 6.40p.m, Since she is now a bit older, maybe she doesn't sleep as much as before)

Do you know that we need to hold her, pat her and rock her to sleep with her pacifier when she was younger and we were truly exhausted till we tried out sleep training when she was around 5 to 6 months old which I will write in another blog post. :)

Another thing which I would like to share with you is that most babies, at least for my baby will become sleepy after 2.5 hours (2 hours when she was younger). She does not take long nap, which means that she is not able to sleep till 2p.m or 2.30p.m. Normally, she will only take 1 hr or 1.5 hr of nap. Thus, if she wakes up at 1.30p.m. Her next sleeping nap would be around 4p.m. I will change her diaper, a slow walk around my flat's corridor because we enjoyed the breeze, and then back at home. After which, I will feed her some water, and put her down on her cot. Sometimes, she will climb and stand up on her cot (By the way, she has started standing up. A major milestone for her :P) and move around. After 5 minutes or sometimes 10minutes, she will sit down and doze off to sleep.

How is setting a routine useful? Doesn't it seems too rigid?

Well, rigid comes with predictability and gives you better planning. E.g. if I know that Baby Claire's morning nap is around 9a.m or 9.30a.m, we can plan our outing and have her nap at our car while traveling or in her pram during her morning nap. However, it is recommended that babies have their long afternoon nap at home. In addition, a routine also guides your caregiver on when and what to do to make your baby comfortable, e.g. when to eat, sleep, bathe, etc.

This picture was taken when she fell asleep in her pram when we had an outing at a park. :)

So what's is your baby's routine?

Stay tuned for the next blog post on sleep training.

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Cheers,
Deariebear Mommie